As Mother’s Day approaches on 15 March, many people will be thinking about their mums with love and gratitude. Yet for those whose mother has died, the day can feel very different. It can bring a quiet ache, a deep sense of missing someone, or simply a reflective pause.
Whether the loss happened recently or many years ago, days like Mother’s Day often stir memories and emotions that may have been sitting more quietly in the background. Grief has a way of doing that. It can soften over time, but it rarely disappears completely — because the love we carry for someone remains part of us.
Grief Doesn’t Have an Expiry Date
One of the things people often discover is that grief doesn’t follow a neat timeline. The world may move on, yet the relationship we had with our mother continues to live within our memories, values, and the way we see the world.
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross helped bring wider understanding to grief through her work exploring how people respond to loss. More recently, grief educator David Kessler has spoken about how grief and love remain connected, and how finding meaning after loss can help us carry that love forward.
For many people, Mother’s Day becomes less about what has been lost, and more about recognising the lasting influence a mother has had on our lives.
Why Mother’s Day Can Stir Emotions
Certain dates have a way of highlighting absence. You might notice:
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Memories of conversations, advice, or everyday moments you once shared
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A sense of wishing you could pick up the phone and talk
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Thoughts about traditions that feel different now
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A quiet awareness that life has changed
Even when many years have passed, these feelings can still appear. That doesn’t mean you are “going backwards.” It simply reflects the depth of the bond you had.
Gentle Ways to Honour Your Mother’s Memory
Many people find comfort in marking the day in a small, personal way. It doesn’t need to be anything elaborate — often the simplest gestures feel the most meaningful.
You might choose to:
Light a candle
A quiet moment with a candle can create a peaceful space to remember.
Visit somewhere meaningful
Perhaps a favourite place you once shared — a garden, a seaside walk, or somewhere that holds a special memory.
Cook or share a favourite meal
Food often carries powerful memories of family and connection.
Look through photographs
Allowing yourself time to remember moments from the past can be comforting.
Write a letter
Some people find it helpful to write to their mother, sharing what they might say if she were here today.
Plant something in her memory
Flowers, seeds, or a small plant can symbolise the continuing presence of love and memory.
Share stories with others
Talking about your mum keeps her presence alive through memory and connection.
Giving Yourself Permission
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong way to approach Mother’s Day when you are grieving.
Some people want to mark the day.
Others prefer to let it pass quietly.
Both responses are completely valid.
Grief is deeply personal, and everyone’s relationship with loss is unique.
A Gentle Thought
Mother’s Day can be a moment to pause and acknowledge the love that still exists, even though the person we love is no longer physically here.
Remembering someone, speaking their name, sharing a memory, or simply holding them in your thoughts is a way of honouring the bond that continues.
And if the day feels heavier than expected, reaching out to someone who understands grief can help you feel less alone. Sometimes simply talking about the person we miss can bring comfort and warmth back into the moment.
If you feel the need, I’m available face to face, online or via telephone.
Warmly,
Sue