3 Dec
When You’re the Strong One: Caring for Yourself While Caring for Everyone Else
Let’s be honest… if there were a job description for “Strong One of the Family,” your name would be printed on the contract in glitter ink. You’re the dependable one, the organiser, the emotional anchor, the festive planner, the bringer-together-of-everyone… and somehow the person who supplies the good napkins.
And at this time of year? You magically transform into the Festive Fairy — waving your invisible wand while juggling presents, people, and possibly a partridge in a pear tree.
But here’s what I want to say to you gently and with warmth as if I was talking to you face to face
Even the strongest festive fairy has to look after ‘er Mental ‘’Elf.
Because when you’re used to caring for everyone else — children, grandchildren, partners, ageing parents, neighbours, pets who assume you exist purely for snacks — it’s easy to slip into the role of “strong one” without noticing how heavy that crown can feel.
The festive season tends to amplify that emotional load. Expectations rise, obligations grow, and suddenly you’re running on mince pies and muscle memory.
Your Mental ’Elf Matters: Gentle Ways to Care for Yourself
You give so much. And you deserve to receive care too. Here’s a few soothing, sparkly ways to support yourself this season — without causing drooping of your fairy wings or dropping that wand …
- Choose one thing you’re NOT doing this year
This is your new festive tradition.
Not hosting two dinners? Wonderful.
Not baking from scratch? Perfect.
Not ironing napkins? Liberating.
Saying “no” isn’t unkind — its clarity wrapped in kindness.
- Give yourself 10 minutes of quiet every day
A cup of tea counts.
Sitting in the car counts.
Hiding in the bathroom with a breathing exercise absolutely counts.
These tiny pauses regulate your nervous system and calm your Mental ‘Elf before the next round of festive chaos.
- Let someone else be useful
Delegate one thing — even if it’s peeling potatoes “their way”.
It’s okay to step back and let others step up.
Receiving help doesn’t diminish your strength; it supports it.
Three Sparkle-Saving Tips to Help Your Festive Fairy ‘ang on to er Glitter
Being the strong one doesn’t mean draining yourself dry. These small but mighty tips help you protect your shine:
✨ 1. Protect Your Glitter with Boundaries
Think of your energy like glitter — once it’s gone, it sticks to everything except where you need it.
Set gentle boundaries such as:
- “I can help, but not today.”
- “Let’s keep it simple this year.”
- “I’m choosing one event per weekend.”
Boundaries preserve your sparkle instead of dulling it.
✨ 2. Add Yourself to the Gift List
The festive fairy often forgets the most important person: ‘erself.
Treat yourself with the same care you give everyone else.
Wrap a tiny gift for yourself and label it “From: Your Inner Festive Fairy.”
It’s restorative, not indulgent.
✨ 3. Sprinkle Mini Joy Moments Throughout Your Day
Think of these as little top-ups for your inner glow:
- A candle and three slow breaths
- A favourite old Christmas song
- Five minutes of fresh air before re-entering the festive whirl
These micro-moments keep your Mental Elf grounded and sparkly.
How Talking Therapies Can Support Your Festive Wellbeing
Talking therapy offers a safe, calm space where you don’t have to be the strong one.
You don’t have to hold everything together.
You don’t need to disguise exhaustion under tinsel and good intentions.
Together, we explore the pressures, the emotional weight and the quiet needs beneath the surface — helping you reconnect with balance, self-compassion and a gentler festive pace.
You matter. Your wellbeing matters. Your Mental Elf matters too.
A Gentle Festive Invitation
If you’re feeling stretched thin this December, you don’t have to carry it all alone.
Reaching out is an act of strength, not weakness.
If you’d like a warm, calm space to talk — or simply a moment that’s just for you — I’m here.
Warmly Sue